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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
— Woody Allen
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
— Woody Allen
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
— Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
— Woody Allen
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
— Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
— Woody Allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
— Woody Allen
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
— Woody Allen
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
— Woody Allen

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