Joan Rivers Quotes

    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
    Joan Rivers
    Wisdom
    There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
    Joan Rivers
    Humorous
    [Catchphrase:] Can we talk?
    Joan Rivers
    Uncategorized
    [Catchphrase:] Oh, grow up!
    Joan Rivers
    Age
    Why do wives have to spend so much time dusting, vacuuming, mopping, making beds, washing dishes, when you just have to do it all again six months later?
    Joan Rivers
    Family
    Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
    Joan Rivers
    Pain
    I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."
    Joan Rivers
    Humorous
    My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
    Joan Rivers
    Work
    Never floss with a stranger.
    Joan Rivers
    Humorous

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